Diana Medina: "I promise to never hurt you"
Unceremoniously discarded and without closure, I was left to pick up the pieces, and draw my own conclusions. And to overcome the elusive grief, I searched for answers, but all the self-medicating and soothing words in the world did nothing to help eradicate the distress, disturbance, and dysfunction caused by this unresolved abandonment. It has taken me almost two years to overcome the depression she brought on.
In a nutshell here is my story:
We met online in November 2003, and after a few days we met in person for the first time. After a nice dinner then we drove around, talked and got to know each other. Then we looked for a spot to park the car, and we got to know each other better. And as our first date came to a closure, the phone calls started, it was her ex, and after a few conversations with him, she had become very upset and sad. She told me that she had contempleted suicide, and even had mentioned how it was going to happen. I held her hand and told her to just hang in there because things will get better. I knew what she was going through because I had gone through a bitter divorce.
From there after we started seeing each other, and we got along really well. Then she hit rock bottom, she had no money to feed her kids, and her ex was no where to be found. As for me I am at the mercy of the district attorney, fifty-five percent of my wages went to child support, and I got what ever is left over. But I sacraficed my needs and I gave her money and took her to the market, and if it were any other person I would have done the same for them. Then came the car problems, it was in desperate need of repair, but she didn't have the money to have it repaired. Luck was on her side I am a mechanic so I offered to fix it, and I bought the parts aswell.
Then she said that she had to move out of her home and had to find an apartment. No friends or relatives were willing to help, so again I donated my services. She said that she had never been alone on her own, and just the thought of it would bring tears to her eye's, she was very scared and didn't know if she could do it. I told her that I would be there for her, and everything would be okay.
In December 2003 she said that her employer had offered her a manager's position at one of there stores in Northern, CA, and that meant that she would have to relocate from Beaumont to Morgan hill. She said that it was only temporary, and that she would only live there for three months, then return after.
In the begining of Jan. 2004, Diana informed me that she was pregnant. Diana could not have any more children, because she chose to have the operation many years back. She said it is very rare for someone to become pregnant after having the operation, but it does happen. I had no reason to believe otherwise and out of love and sense of trust, I believed her. I was the happiest man alive, and I couldn't wait to announce the good news to everyone.
We had informed my parents about the pregnancy in Jan. 2004, and we began to discuss our plans for the future. She said that she wanted to prepare for the new arrival in advance (financially), and to make this possible, I would have to send her money once a week. So we agreed on a fixed dollar amount and I complied by sending money orders through the mail on a weekly basis.
In Jan. 2004 I drove up north to see her, and the events started to unfold, and it was all to obvious to me that she was going to take up permanent residence there, and had no intention of returning after 3 month's. I confronted her about the situation, and asked a few question's, but she would avoid talking about it, by telling me not to spoil the short time that we have together.
In June 2004, I found out that she was secretly looking to meet men online on Match.com, when confronted, she replied callously in the form of a text message, informing me that I had been "set up & used" , "good bye 4 good" . In our final conversation she said "I was the one to blame" , then mentally torturing me to the point of madness, she laughed and said "get some help you are nut's" . Then she quickly broke off contact with me.
In desperation I foolishly attempted to contact her intoxicated, distraught, and on anti depressants, in serch of answers. I sent emails filled with anger and resentment towards her like an insecure child. Then to avoid exposure and to conceal her true character and behavior, because of her concern with her reputation and image in the community, she quickly orchestrated legal action by playing the role of the 'poor me' victim. Then used co-workers, authority figures, the media and others to reinforce the idea that she 'would never do such a thing' and that she 'is not like that'. She then quickly filed for a restraining order, claiming that she was a victim of abuse, and was in fear of her safety, and for the safety of her children.
Nevertheless, the judge was convinced, and denied the opportunity to speak in court, I am now cast in a defensive role, the roles have been reversed, I am looked at as the perpitrator, exposing me to even more criticism and judgement.
(I later learned that there never was a baby on the way, it was a smear tactic to get money from me to advance her purposes.)
In a nutshell here is my story:
We met online in November 2003, and after a few days we met in person for the first time. After a nice dinner then we drove around, talked and got to know each other. Then we looked for a spot to park the car, and we got to know each other better. And as our first date came to a closure, the phone calls started, it was her ex, and after a few conversations with him, she had become very upset and sad. She told me that she had contempleted suicide, and even had mentioned how it was going to happen. I held her hand and told her to just hang in there because things will get better. I knew what she was going through because I had gone through a bitter divorce.
From there after we started seeing each other, and we got along really well. Then she hit rock bottom, she had no money to feed her kids, and her ex was no where to be found. As for me I am at the mercy of the district attorney, fifty-five percent of my wages went to child support, and I got what ever is left over. But I sacraficed my needs and I gave her money and took her to the market, and if it were any other person I would have done the same for them. Then came the car problems, it was in desperate need of repair, but she didn't have the money to have it repaired. Luck was on her side I am a mechanic so I offered to fix it, and I bought the parts aswell.
Then she said that she had to move out of her home and had to find an apartment. No friends or relatives were willing to help, so again I donated my services. She said that she had never been alone on her own, and just the thought of it would bring tears to her eye's, she was very scared and didn't know if she could do it. I told her that I would be there for her, and everything would be okay.
In December 2003 she said that her employer had offered her a manager's position at one of there stores in Northern, CA, and that meant that she would have to relocate from Beaumont to Morgan hill. She said that it was only temporary, and that she would only live there for three months, then return after.
In the begining of Jan. 2004, Diana informed me that she was pregnant. Diana could not have any more children, because she chose to have the operation many years back. She said it is very rare for someone to become pregnant after having the operation, but it does happen. I had no reason to believe otherwise and out of love and sense of trust, I believed her. I was the happiest man alive, and I couldn't wait to announce the good news to everyone.
We had informed my parents about the pregnancy in Jan. 2004, and we began to discuss our plans for the future. She said that she wanted to prepare for the new arrival in advance (financially), and to make this possible, I would have to send her money once a week. So we agreed on a fixed dollar amount and I complied by sending money orders through the mail on a weekly basis.
In Jan. 2004 I drove up north to see her, and the events started to unfold, and it was all to obvious to me that she was going to take up permanent residence there, and had no intention of returning after 3 month's. I confronted her about the situation, and asked a few question's, but she would avoid talking about it, by telling me not to spoil the short time that we have together.
In June 2004, I found out that she was secretly looking to meet men online on Match.com, when confronted, she replied callously in the form of a text message, informing me that I had been "set up & used" , "good bye 4 good" . In our final conversation she said "I was the one to blame" , then mentally torturing me to the point of madness, she laughed and said "get some help you are nut's" . Then she quickly broke off contact with me.
In desperation I foolishly attempted to contact her intoxicated, distraught, and on anti depressants, in serch of answers. I sent emails filled with anger and resentment towards her like an insecure child. Then to avoid exposure and to conceal her true character and behavior, because of her concern with her reputation and image in the community, she quickly orchestrated legal action by playing the role of the 'poor me' victim. Then used co-workers, authority figures, the media and others to reinforce the idea that she 'would never do such a thing' and that she 'is not like that'. She then quickly filed for a restraining order, claiming that she was a victim of abuse, and was in fear of her safety, and for the safety of her children.
Nevertheless, the judge was convinced, and denied the opportunity to speak in court, I am now cast in a defensive role, the roles have been reversed, I am looked at as the perpitrator, exposing me to even more criticism and judgement.
(I later learned that there never was a baby on the way, it was a smear tactic to get money from me to advance her purposes.)
posted by Arthur N at 5:18 PM
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